Meant To Love.

Maybe we were never meant to be alone.

I’ve always been independent. Let me do my own things, my own way. Give me space and you’ll never have to see me. And you’ll never have to hear from me. It’s like I never was here.

Maybe we are meant to go through this life together.

It means dependency. It means compromising. It means giving. It means taking.

It means “I couldn’t imagine my life without you.”

It means “I could wring your neck right now.”

It means “I can’t believe you just said that. Couldn’t have been at a better moment.”

It means “I can’t believe you just said that. You’re such a freak.”

Maybe in this life, we are meant to love.

Maybe it was always that simple.

Or complicated.

Depends on how you look at it. Either way, though, the answer still comes out the same.

We were never meant to be alone and stand on our own strength.

We were meant to share moments and lives with others.

Maybe it’s always been that we were meant to love.

kadi.

Motivation.

I’m wondering why, those few moments when I really want to stop, why I want to. What’s the reason behind me wanting to? Not saying it’s bad. Just saying. Right reason?

Maybe it’s a matter of proving something. Proving to myself that I’m strong enough. Proving to others that I’m still a good person, a good Christian. Proving that I have things under control.

Why do I run to God? What’s my heart’s intent when I raise my hands and try to let go?

Am I concerned about a relationship and what I can do? Or what I can get out of that “relationship”? Do I only care to see myself “get better” and not care about anything, anyone else?

What’s the reason for me going to the cross if I’m only thinking about what I can get from it, not what I can give?

Or wondering how much I can give, and how much I can get from that act in the end?

What’s the point, week after week?

If I only care about getting rid of this.

And “getting better”.

And being a good person, a good Christian.

Then I’m a fool.

I’m a fool if that’s my only motivation for falling face down night after night.

kadi.